Lately I’ve been feeling a real disconnect to people. I’m in between blaming it on my steeping age of 24 1/2 and my dire need to become independent and resourceful on my own or the possibility that I’m growing out of something other than my shoes. Shouldn’t friendships be like marriage? Where you work them out till death do us part? Maybe some of us should have never used the final F. in B.F.F. One thing’s for sure: my lack of effort to retain these relationships must stem from how easily our society disposes of everything from morals to left overs.
The divorce rate is at 50% for first marriages, 67% for second and a whopping 73% for third times the charm! (According to this bad boy.) I’ve learned to let go easily from the world I live in. I mean, look at these stats! Plus the younger you get married the more the odds are against you. I’m young. Does this mean that my ability to get over people is that like Ten Second Tom’s memory?
I have been known to cut people off quite easily. Most of those instances I can justify, with just a few I regret. The ones I do regret I’ve mended and I’m not looking to cut off anyone here. I’d rather understand because I’m beginning to feel guilty but refuse to compromise with my gut feeling that people just change. Or they don’t. A lot of people get comfortable in their habits, good or bad, and I think that’s where my concern comes from. The reality that I face is the fact that I haven’t been able to relate to anyone for a while now. If I do relate to a person on one level, I completely clash with them on another. Before, there were things I used to tolerate or think were OK until my maturity came in full force and now those things are just a turn off. I had bad habits that, for the most part, I’ve broken. Expectations that have risen. Tables that have turned. After all this I feel like I’ve turned to each side of me and realized the people who were once there, aren’t. Either they’re still working on their vices, decided that their satisfied where they are, or I’m just at a different place in my life. Whatever it is I suppose it’ll fall into place on its own because this is one thing that can’t be rushed.
On the flip side this current state of limbo has allowed me to go off on my own and meet people who I normally wouldn’t meet unless I took the initiative to. I’ve been able to reconnect with old friends and family and be reminded of the solid relationships that have lasted through the years without me having to always be there or put much effort into. I’m exploring on my own and it actually feels great. On the real though, I can’t shake the guilt I feel from wanting to ditch certain pieces of my life.
Does the saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back that’s how you know” apply to friendships? And if so, does “coming back” really mean it’s meant to be or that it’s easier than just moving on?
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Wow, this is awesome! This is exactly what I am going through as I am soon to approach 35, and I went through when I turned 26. I’m a very loyal person, but it’s taken me a long while to start to view the world that maybe people come in and out of our lives for different reasons as you stated. Some we never see again, some will always be around, and delightfully some that we thought we would never see again pop up again and blossom into a great friendship again years and years later.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s hard to go through but I already see myself growing into either the “new” me or just out of the “old” way of living my life according to my surroundings. Thanks for responding