He’s socially awkward, shy, yawns at the most inopportune moments and stretches every 15 seconds. His name is Chucho. He was born in Guadalajara, Mexico in 2002 and the flight attendant helped me sneak him on the plane home (totally against the pilot’s orders). Oh how I love my supposed chihuahua who better resembles a deer. Cheers to you and your funny faces every time I try to take a photo.
This is really intense but, don’t let that mask what the message is here. Have an open mind & listen.
When I doubt my appearance , which then leads me to obsessing over what I should look like, I watch this. It has honestly changed my life.
This is Kattie Makkai doing Pretty in a Spoken Word Performance.
Lately I’ve been feeling a real disconnect to people. I’m in between blaming it on my steeping age of 24 1/2 and my dire need to become independent and resourceful on my own or the possibility that I’m growing out of something other than my shoes. Shouldn’t friendships be like marriage? Where you work them out till death do us part? Maybe some of us should have never used the final F. in B.F.F. One thing’s for sure: my lack of effort to retain these relationships must stem from how easily our society disposes of everything from morals to left overs.
The divorce rate is at 50% for first marriages, 67% for second and a whopping 73% for third times the charm! (According to this bad boy.) I’ve learned to let go easily from the world I live in. I mean, look at these stats! Plus the younger you get married the more the odds are against you. I’m young. Does this mean that my ability to get over people is that like Ten Second Tom’s memory?
I have been known to cut people off quite easily. Most of those instances I can justify, with just a few I regret. The ones I do regret I’ve mended and I’m not looking to cut off anyone here. I’d rather understand because I’m beginning to feel guilty but refuse to compromise with my gut feeling that people just change. Or they don’t. A lot of people get comfortable in their habits, good or bad, and I think that’s where my concern comes from. The reality that I face is the fact that I haven’t been able to relate to anyone for a while now. If I do relate to a person on one level, I completely clash with them on another. Before, there were things I used to tolerate or think were OK until my maturity came in full force and now those things are just a turn off. I had bad habits that, for the most part, I’ve broken. Expectations that have risen. Tables that have turned. After all this I feel like I’ve turned to each side of me and realized the people who were once there, aren’t. Either they’re still working on their vices, decided that their satisfied where they are, or I’m just at a different place in my life. Whatever it is I suppose it’ll fall into place on its own because this is one thing that can’t be rushed.
On the flip side this current state of limbo has allowed me to go off on my own and meet people who I normally wouldn’t meet unless I took the initiative to. I’ve been able to reconnect with old friends and family and be reminded of the solid relationships that have lasted through the years without me having to always be there or put much effort into. I’m exploring on my own and it actually feels great. On the real though, I can’t shake the guilt I feel from wanting to ditch certain pieces of my life.
Does the saying, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back that’s how you know” apply to friendships? And if so, does “coming back” really mean it’s meant to be or that it’s easier than just moving on?
What’s that one word that you can say sums up what you’ve been lately? Not what you were but who you are today and not necessarily a word that has to define the rest of your life. This word probably won’t tattoo itself on your forehead forever, don’t worry. It’s just a bookmark in the many chapters of your life. Before you begin to side eye me in confusion, I’ll explain.
Eat Pray Love. (Yeah, I’m talking about it again.) When Giulio explains to Liz why she may feel like she doesn’t belong in Rome he says, “Maybe you and Rome just have different words.“
Liz asks what he means and then Giulio explains how the way to understanding a city and the people in it is to know what the word of the street is. The majority thought of the people that make up the city would therefore be the “word of the city”. In this case Rome’s word is SEX because if you could read the minds of the people of Rome they would all be most likely be thinking about SEX. The Vatican’s? POWER. Liz’s? Well, Liz is still in search for her word which is the whole reason for her journey, the whole reason for this book and knowing this now, the whole reason I continue reading.
Giulio’s point has me throwing around a couple words in my head. It’s also sparked a Twitter conversation between Ana, my fellow book club member, and myself. I had always noticed that Ana’s About Me on her Twitter says,
I always had thought that maybe she meant ‘world’ and just forgot the L, but I never had the heart to tell me new friend that she possibly misspelled her Twitter bio. Now having read that part of the book I understand perfectly what she means and realize that I too am in search for my word. Ana is between FORGIVENESS and FAITH. I’m dancing with CHANGE, SEEK, and STRIVE. I’m doing all three but if you could read my thoughts then STRIVE would be what’s most running through my mind. (When I’m not thinking about food or shopping!)
I asked myself : Do I belong where I am now? I went from San Francisco State University to San Jose State and now back to San Francisco for a reason. San Jose State and I just didn’t speak the same language and now that I’m back at SFSU I feel that our words coincide. I’m full of different words and the language that my heart and mind speak when I’m in school mode wasn’t vibing with San Jose’s. Upon my return to my original school of choice I was embraced by the people, the way of life there, and the academic programs that seemed to be designed with me in mind. This is where I belong, for now.
This got me to thinking of what other people’s words may be. For instance, Obama’s campaign is CHANGE. The current state in Egypt would make their word be REFORM but their dictator’s, Hosni Mubarak, word would be CONTROL.
So, what’s your WORD these days? And are we simplistic enough to think that we have just one?